philos
liberté
princeps
memoria

I just remembered! That time spent after the intermission-- with Jiang Chuan, Sharon, Eunice, Li-en, Caroline, and later on, Cindy, Vivian, and Elvina.. *wow*. It was one of the most bitter-sweet and sadly beautiful moments of my life.

We were cleaning our fund-raising stall up, and had to move the table back to the canteen. We walked past the quadrangle, and were kind of tired, so we put down the table and took a rest. We sat on the table, and tried to spook each other out by saying all the scary and weird things we could think of, like the library lights switching on suddenly while LayWang rushed passed it. (Li-en and Elaine were witnesses!) And about the Heritage Corner ghosts, and Sharon spooking us out by describing how unsafe the school is at night.

We talked about the moon. How to describe it? Today's moon is the most beautiful one I have ever seen, and the sunset was like what I would imagine when Jesus comes down to gather all His sheep. It was shining a quiet, serene light that was well, pure and simple. (Thank you ___, for asking me to look at today's moon!) Yesterday's was not as perfect as today's. But anyway, we realised that the time we were having together at that point in time would be most probably the last ever. It was well, a breathless moment, when you realise that it's the end.

We sang many little songs, like Friends, Hear the Music, Beauty & the Beast, Reflections, Peng You etc. But it was Friends that really made the tears well up. We sang so sweetly (ok, they did), and Eunice and Li-en tried to flatter me by gushing about how nice my voice was, but of course, I know better. But thank you guys, for making me feel special.

So we just sat there, swaying a little to the tune, and looking at the cloudless sky and that pretty moon. It was like those moments when you're with someone special on the beach, and you just recollect all those wonderful times, while the bright moon shines down on you. It was a beautiful time.

Sharon suggested we do what she and Liyan sometimes did, skipping and jumping across the quadrangle as fast as you can. We had such a funny time doing that, and spoilt the atmosphere for some other people. (oops!) Then as I was jumping and running, I realised that it was my first and last time doing that across the quadrangle, and with people so dear to me. It was my last time running across the Nanyang quadrangle. And it was my last time doing it with Eunice, Li-en and Sharon(NJ-bound). That was it. All I have now are just the memories of that time. It's, depressing really.

It was getting late, so we dumped the bench back and went to get a drink. As we were walking towards the 40c drinks machine, Sharon said something that really struck me. She pointed to NJC and said, "That's my school". I was numbed. Really. It only dawned on me just then. "Hey, there are people leaving, and soon, I'll be leaving too." At that point, I just wished I could stop thinking, stop making myself depressed, and most of all, stop remembering. I couldn't.

Tracy said something really 'numb-ing' during our circle talk. She said something like "and.. and there are people leaving.." People like me. People leaving Nanyang to go NJC, to go RGS.. It made her cry, it made me cry, it made most of us start tear-ing. I realised that people were really leaving, leaving to continue, to pursue what they deemed best for their education life. But sometimes I will really ask myself. Why now?

And even more often, Is this It? So this is what a goodbye really feels like..