philos
liberté
princeps
memoria

2.4km run was today. And this is one of those times I feel utterly disappointed in myself. I let myself down, & gave up just like that. When I asked around, people were amazed that someone even stopped, & once I did, it became a chain effect thing. So what if I got an A?? I counted. I stopped about 4 times? And at the 3rd time, I had already told myself that I expect failure, because after all, I had already given up. But seriously, if it weren't for people around like carmen, sarah, sher, su mae, charlene, ann, ming, & my other classmates, I wouldn't have continued. I would have stopped right there and then, because really, once you stop, it's pretty hard to continue. Thankfully for my weekly run, I was able to catch up with the lost time. But what mattered most was that I stopped and gave up, and in that whole process, let myself down. It was then and there that I felt what it was like to meet failure face to face, and accept it. That hurt, & it still does. Maybe if I say I'll never forgive myself it'll be a lie, but currently? *shakes head* I just feel really pathetic and lousy. Too bad. >.<

It is also at this very run when I realised that there are people who were there for me, & I don't just mean cheering at the end, I mean running along side-by-side with you, cheering you to move it, and reach that end. I mean people who, after they have gone through the run themselves, and are dead-beat, still run along to cheer people and join them in running. I mean people who cared not for themselves, or how terribly tired they were, but rather what they could do to strengthen their friend. I appreciate and will remember what you guys have done, & I love you people! (: And thank you, carmen.

I also realised that there are times when you can trust a person to be there for you, & then in the process of realising what a good friend that person is, she turns around and "slaps" you right in the face- figurtively speaking. I write this from my own experience (not today though), & also from my friend's experience today. I felt it so much I had to blog this down. But I just say:
people who just want to be ahead of you will always be behind you, because in life, it's not all about beating your friends. It's about gaining trust and love from them. And if beating them in anyway is going to determine anything, it'll just show how much you value your friends. The truthful will always be awinner! (:

OK, I think I've really said enough. I'm dead tired now, & I wish for a nice cool room and some sleep soon! Rachel was right. I should have remembered that I'm running for Jesus, & not for myself! Never mind, next year, I won't stop anymore! Life's too short for that! (:

_______________________________