31 August 2004
9:50 PM
Went jogging with my sister in the evening today. She's getting
really good at running long distances I realise. Purpose of the jog was cos I decided that my headache was due to the fact that my brain is oxygen deprived, so you
would think the jogging should have helped. It
didn't, but at least I tried! It was quite nice actually, cos there was plenty of shade, time away from the work piling up (Mrs. Ang calls it
rotten bananas, but it doesn't sound right), and just the right amount of wind. Nice day, today.
Sometimes you see things that you never knew were there, and sometimes you
pretend you can't really see it. But maybe it's not cos you want to remain ignorant and pretend that life's just one big shining star. Maybe it's cos you know you won't be able to handle it. Not now at least. Some things are easier to think about, but what I've realised is that even
after you've thought about it for a
really long time, it doesn't mean it'll go away. I've been thinking for close to 2 weeks, and it's still there. In my tired brain,
stuck.
Maybe I need to start watching Barney again, and all his
crazy concepts about how if 'I love you and you love me', it makes us all a happy family. Firstly, I want to proclaim for all to hear that barney
cannot be trusted, because not only is he a purple dinosaur, his
whole world is about appearing in a burst of stars and light while the kids go
crazy with delight and run screaming to him. Secondly, barney has
deceived me to believing that there's a
song to every sorrow and trouble.
Not true. Some problems
don't have songs, and so I attempt to write them, but I end up with scrap paper not even
worth recycling. Sad, but that's how far I can go. I sing because I need a way to escape.
But barney isn't to be blamed, because I
did learn much from him. That I should keep
moving on, and keep
'appearing' when people feel down or need some cheering up. I shouldn't have to think so much about my stuff that I
forget that I am alive, and that my friends are living beings too. And so, if you're one of those who know what I'm trying to get at, then yes, you
matter to me, and so, don't think that you're piling extra burden on my shoulders, because actually my burden is not on my shoulders, it's in my heart. (: But seriously speaking, I'll be
truly happy to listen and maybe even to help if I can.
Pet sent me an sms which I thought was really meaningful.
A woman of real beauty smiles in times of trouble, gathers strength from distress, and grows brave through reflection and prayer.
So to all those who are having tough times ahead, this one's for you (:
"The plainest sign of wisdom is a continual cheerfulness: her state is like that of things in the regions above the moon, always clear and serene."
-Michel de Montaigne
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