philos
liberté
princeps
memoria

Chermaine's Story
Chermaine's story begins with a time and place, a song and a dream. Chermaine's story starts with the beginning of space, and the end of dreams.

I walked on the stony rocky path, and it hurt. I learned to wear shoes. I scaled the highest mountains and swam the deepest seas. I learned that there are other things worth living for. I flew above the plains, and under the rain. I learned that there are better things in life to dream about.

I realised that everywhere I turned, there was something to be done. Something to achieve. Something to dream and hope for. Something I couldn't turn my back against. Something I couldn't turn away from. I realised that with every dream came a wish, with every wish came hope, with every hope came aspirations, and with aspirations came failure.

I realise that I lived not for the moment, but for living itself. I realised that I lived because I wanted to, not because I had to. I realised that I will never truly comprehend the real value of Life. I realised that I couldn't appreciate it, not because I didn't want to, but because I didn't know how to. I realised that things had to be taken away from me before I realised that Happiness was standing right in front of me, staring at me all this while, waiting for me to open my blind eyes and see her at last.

I waited for the dreams to come. And after it came, I waited for the hope that came with it. And then the goals. And then ultimately, failure or success.

I waited for failure, because I never knew what it truly meant to fall. I realised that success doesn't mean winning, it means understanding the full value of failure.

I realised it the day my world collapsed at my feet. I realised that people come and go, and emotions come and go. And Life. Life comes and goes. I realised I let happiness slip by, because I couldn't be bothered to find its value. Before it was too late.

I realised it was too late to turn back time and space. I realised that it was too late to write a song, or remember a dream. Because all I would have would be faded time and space, broken dreams, and wasted songs. Songs about dreams. About the Life long ago.

This is Chermaine's story. It has a long while more before it closes its chapter, a longer while before the story ends. But Chermaine's story will always sing the same tune. Because she knows now what it means to be really happy, but she knew it too late.

She regrets she didn't hold on to her happiness, regrets she didn't fly higher, laugh harder, smile wider. She knows that it will not be the same again.

She tells this story, because she hopes that others will never take too long to realise how Life plays tricks on us, but only because we allowed it to.

"When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hold on." Franklin D. Roosevelt

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17 missed calls, 12 messages. All in 1.5 hours. The shock I felt when I woke up and saw the number of missed calls.. I'm so sorry people! Ahh. My sis and mum were imagining the worse-case senarios already. And then when I was walking, no running, home, I had to scream 5 million sorries to the people who called. Ahh I'm so sorry! I'll never to do it again. ): Sorry sorry sorry! Thanks for the concern friends (: I was very touched. Really.

I'm hungry. Haven't eaten dinner yet. Sis forced me to blog about this for don't-know-what reason. I felt so bad I decided to oblige her.
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My mum scares me sometimes. She went on a taitai shopping spree this afternoon, and she had to call me to go down and help her bring all her stuff up lol. And she came with a new phone (for caller-id), some potted plants, other nitty-gritty things, and an osim massage machine which cost i-didn't-ask-cos-i-don't-want-to-know and a $60 osim pen. What does she need to write which requires ink from a $60 pen, I really wonder. And she bought some really expensive bulbs with the white lights, and now she's changing the lights at the dining area. And just for information, the bulbs in the 5 lights are yellow. And she bought 3 white bulbs. So now I'll be eating in white+ yellow light. Amazing.

And she told me about her hilarious experience at the mrt station. She stood at the machine to buy the standard card, and she couldn't get the coins or the dollar notes in, so she stood there for a very long 5 min waiting for someone to use the machine so she could see what to do. And then she said this little girl came by and so mum tried to peek at what she did. And the girl pressed the buttons so fast she couldn't catch, so she asked the girl "which one to press first..." and finally got her card after 10 min. And then at the entrance, she thought she had to push the card into a slot, and so there she was, trying to fit the card into a non-existent slot, when she saw a man just tap and go. -__-""" I almost fell out of my chair when she told me.

Anyway, today xiu huan was extra insane. She kept making my toy barney roar for don't know what reason, and then she said barney was an elephant, and proceeded to make him sleep by making all sorts of snoring noises. And she did this for 10min during laoshi's class lol. And then, for english lesson, we had a great and fruitful conversation lol. Well, pet and me learnt a lot. >.-

Macbeth test tomorrow. Math test thursday. Did I mention that life is beautiful?

"The most beautiful discovery that true friends can make is that they can grow separately without growing apart."
-Elizabeth Foley
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Being sick is not a good thing. Being sick means you can't do much, cos your brain is in constant stone mode, and you can't really breathe easy, which means your brain is suffering from a severe lack of oxygen. Which means you yawn a lot, and then you'll therefore have to sleep a lot. Which makes you unable to do much. Productivity rate- zero. Sad, but true. So it just means I'll have to get well soon! Argh.

"No smile is as beautiful as the one that struggles through tears."
-Unknown
that is so true. .
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Love is powerful
and the future is full of promise

Life is beautiful.

"If you don't believe in you, why should anyone else?"
-Tom Hopkins
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Staying in school from 7.30am- 5.30pm for open house was strenuous, and the conducting really wore me out, but xiums was so good at the other two songs, so I had energy to carry them out. I think the choir really did a superb job, and one plus point was that I felt we really clicked when we performed! (: and mae was so nice to bake chocolate cookies for us! I ate about 6 of them, but shh.. >.<>that good.

I saw carmen, pet and rachie when I was on stage just before I performed. Carmen was backstage the first time, but then she sat right at the back for the second performance. And pet and rach were at the back waving like crazy, so I smiled extra big for you guys, cos I really couldn't wave! Thanks so much for being there. It's great performing when you have friends around (:

I was a nervous wreck for the first performance, cos I thought I was about to fall off the stage! And then when I started with the 5-count start of Las A. I kept feeling I was going to go off beat and crap the whole performance up. And I was perspiring after the song, cos I was literally jumping around in my extremely loose court shoes to intensify the song. And immediately after that super energetic song, I had to calm myself down for the second intense, reflective piece. And get back my breath control. It's actually quite fun trying to switch moods immediately, cos it really tests your mental strength and stamina. Lucky I slept quite a bit the night before :B

Stayed a while after the Open House with xiums, yi lun, mae and tanneh. It was really wacked out cos we kept laughing like maniacs. It's just the stress of the day. Anyway, the comm was really encouraged after ms loo praised us for efficiency. It really means a lot to poor souls working hard for a good cause. :b And we took lots of pictures too! People like those in nutella brighten up my day. (:

Xiu Huan's in Vietnam now. She left on Friday, so I had to sit alone for about 2 hours of the day. Lucky I had Mr. Orange Balloon to keep me company. Xh rocks! She actually blew up the balloon from our physics lesson and wrote on the balloon "Mr. Orange Balloon will keep Chermaine company on 3rd Sept. Good luck for Chinese test! Jia you!" and when I read that, I was really encouraged. It made my day. (:

I think having a name like "Samsuri Sahari" is pretty cool. That's the name of the taxi driver who sent me to church. Mr Sahari is a fast driver. He brought us to Tanglin Road in 10 min when normally it takes 20min! He flies his cab.

Went to doctor's after open house. It'll all be fine soon.

My sis is watching some soap opera chinese drama thing where there's this girl crying and screaming in the rain for her shi fu. And she can hold her wail really long too. Amazing lungs.

"We enjoy warmth because we have been cold. We appreciate light because we have been in darkness. By the same token, we can experience joy because we have known sadness."
-David Weatherford
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