philos
liberté
princeps
memoria

It alarms me how my life and the people in it have changed over the past years. Things have happened, some fantastic and unbelievable. But some just really really bad, and others simply terrifying. There are some things in life that just isn't f-o-r-e-v-e-r. Like life. If we keep playing with it, someday there wouldn't be a life left to play with.. That is what's so scary. When a person beside me, close to me, breaks down like there is nothing left in life to look forward to. And know what.. Maybe to him/her, there just isn't. Maybe that's why life has to end. For her. For him.

Imagine how it would feel, losing someone like that. Is it cowardly? To die, and not have that mental strength to keep yourself breathing? I don't know. I have never been in that position, to question and rant about the whys and whats that keeps me living and breathing, and I hope I never will. Something must have snapped, have gone down the wrong drain, to carry such importance until one's own life becomes nothing in comparison.

Is it selfish then? To demand that someone should go on living, just because it wouldn't hurt the people around them.. Who has the right to tell someone to live or die? Who is justified to claim authority over whether another person's life? If someone doesn't want to live, does anyone even have any validation to say nay? Is it not their life to live. It is not their right to impose their beliefs over another individual.

And yet, we face a moral issue. If someone wanted to die, we should stop them. What is the purpose of a life if all we think about is ending it? Granted, lives all end someday or another, but bringing it forward is not exactly an act of nature.

No, I am still sane. The sun's effects have been on skin, not on brain, although my brain did fry in all that UV rays. And I am very much alive, with no intention of being otherwise. This is not a suicidal note I am leaving, nor will I be leaving any in the future.

The fact is, things happen, things that make me think about how much people mean to me, and how I take some things for granted. How I think ____ will always be there for me, or _____ will always be around. And then when they open up to you and tell you stuff, and when they do the most unexpected things, you wonder. And worry. And realise.

That people matter. That relationships are exquisite. And that life is one fantastic adventure, and life is beautiful too.

And now, on to lighter, safer topics, to wash away the mood above..

Today's course (for chairpersons/v.chairs) was a 9-hour affair. How I managed to stay awake to take down notes on the essence of leadership is beyond me, but thankfully, Alfie was around to keep me company and listen to my stupid plans to steal more food. (:

Charlotte walked to the bus-stop with me. Lucky for me, my bus came just behind hers, so I wasn't forced to call people for a chat out of complete and utter boredom. Walking home, I saw shawn again. Why am I forever seeing shawn.. Sometimes it freaks me out, the way he always just materialises. And that might not necessarily be a very good thing. But all the same, seeing friends has always had that warm fuzzy effect on most people.

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