06 April 2006
8:31 PM
Today is a
trivial day. So much so that I can sit around the teevee and watch Oprah. And eat half a tub of ben and jerry's. And listen to ashlee simpson sing pseudo-angst.
Today was rather painful as well. I was walking around in a hazy state of pain because of some unidentifiable muscle along my thigh. It was a constant stabbing pain after I did shuttle run. It hurt so bad I wanted to cry and be done with the pain, but obviously you shouldn't cry because of pain. Somehow or other I grew up with the mentality that physical pain was all in the mind. But anyhow.
And then there are my busy tired classmates. Peck who snoozes while reading Great Expectations, William who can sleep on the table, Xueyang who is perpetually tired and sleepy. Xy said I was an "
eternal spring of cheerfulness" (which peck thought was an eternal spring of sickness, but never mind that.)
And the first thing which popped into my mind was "
the joy of the Lord is my strength". The little tune is really catchy. But in all seriousness, the
only reason that keeps me smiling is
Him. It is the
blessings I receive everyday, the very fact that I am healthy, that my friends are healthy, that we can come together and just talk and study and do all the Singaporean things is testimony to the blessings that have been rained upon me.
It sounds cliched. It seems overused. I mean, what really are "blessings" anyhow. I suppose many feel that if a Christian doesn't gush about blessings and God, then
who will, right?
But that's the thing. You can't force a smile or look at the positive bits in life if you think that it's your bounding duty to. It doesn't work that way.
You can't decide to live life happily and not get moodswings and drag everyone down with you just because you think that's what a Christian
ought to do.
Ought is such an ugly word.
I have nothing left to say, except really. The joy of the Lord is my strength. And I'll be praying for those who tire, those who crash, and those who burn.
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