dammit this is not the place to try and live my life. how do you try to undo heartstrings huh.. its almost like intentional cruelty, like everything's too cold, everything's too wrong.
i feel it crawling under my skin. like a burning.
and i'm fading. and the worst thing is its all in my head. EVERYTHING.
i don't want to change me. i don't want to become someone else. i don't want to have to try. i don't ever want to feel that i should be too cool to be true, clubber-chic whatever. i don't want to feel like i need to get piercings even though i can. i don't want to feel like i need to be able to hold my liquor. that's just sad. i WON'T.
i need to stick to principles. i need to focus. dammit. if only i don't bend and break.
then we'll meet on the other side. i'll meet you in the light.
why do i feel like i'm on the outside looking in.
for something i never even knew
i want to forget what ive been told. let me try breathing for a change. but everything's so undefined.
wrong move. 3 strikes whos out.
so here's my resolution. i want to let go. let it all go. and all you who know. that's my resolution.
And I'm fine.. I've always been. (:
___________________________________
go gently
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chermaine
19
If hands could free you, heart,
Where would you fly?
Far, beyond every part
Of earth this running sky
Makes desolate? Would you cross
City and hill and sea,
If hands could set you free?
-
Moments.
Snapshots of sudden illumination, rolling thoughts that trip and tumble before they congeal and form
into structured thought.
