26 October 2006
8:37 PM
I'm tired. It's the last day of school, and I need to be far away, for
once. Still, silent, and far away.
Time off.
Back to the beginning, when it wasn't so alien, so off-centre, so different. So
wrong.
It's back to the basics I guess.
i wanna decide cos it's worth deciding. to work on finding something than this.Back to knowing what matters after all. Back to trying to take care of myself, and the way I'm turning out. In a way, knowing I can't be everything I want to be.
It's funny. Who would have ever guessed I'd ever learn to let these walls around me
burn.
Sometimes I don't know what to do anymore. But then, that's really nothing new. Things sneak up at the strangest times. On the bus to school.. The wrong song plays, and then suddenly everything sweeps forward, and the numbness that was my barrier just leaves me like the shadows that still the night.
things my heart used to knowAnd yay I can finally hold my handstand!
proud of me? It doesn't matter really. I just hope I could.
It's not good unfortunately. Never mind I'll work at it.
Just like I have to work on everything else.
I won't stop you know. I can't. I'm on the ride that leads to nowhere..
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