philos
liberté
princeps
memoria

zoned out_


I had so much to angst about cos i'm so very tired and i don't want to go school ever again or have another meeting..

i've spent 5 hours today at rehearsal
i have a stomach upset from the stupid oily chicken wing i ate
stupid jie liang stole my script now i can't memorise anything

i haven't prepared for my sats which is in 2 days time
i have a meeting tomorrow therefore i can't prepare for it tomorrow either

stupid bryan pulled my hair i am going bald
i will dance with my shadow tomorrow cos marktang won't be around


i missed jingx's party today cos my mum won't let me go ughhhh


mum is not paying for my manicure and pedi therefore i have no more lunch money tomorrow.
how was i to know it'll cost a blinkin 50bucks. what the.


i want to kick something but it'll hurt
i want to cry but i don't have a reason to
i want to scream but its late and i need a good throat





then I talked to tanneh for a while and i'm feeling a lot better. thanks dear you're a life saver.

(:

and thanks william for listening to my rubbish. sorry i ruined your essay writing..


sorry teddytang and kal for being so stoned i don't know why but everytime i just get so tired and any energy is zapped out somehow.. and thanks you both for the necklaces they are very unique..

(:
________________________________
people are all the same.. help the barn's on fire and i don't know what to do.
cos i don't mean to love.

I am SO tired.

and blogger doesn't seem to work.. but i don'treallycare

-

Hold on, But don't hold on too tight.
Let go, It's gonna be all right.
Don't run away from what your heart is saying.

Be strong, Face what you're afraid of.
Come on, Show 'em what you're made of.


I know it's hard when your hope is gone,
But you gotta keep holding on.


You'll hear a voice that's calling,
And it's telling you to make a change.
It's time to fly,
And say goodbye,
And move on to a better place.


You know you gotta take the first step,
To get to where you wanna be.
Just get on track,
And don't look back,
'Cos it's the only way that you're gonna be free..


-B*Witched ; Hold On



_______________________________
i'm glad i found an angel. [knocked out].

- breaking haitus -






and i can't see what he sees.



but it's alright.

disappointment for genuine gratitude.

__________________________________
you always want what you can't have. but i've got to try.
goodbye, then.

Put a message in a bottle
Watch it sail across the ocean blue


More Than A Friend (click)
Jeremy Riddle


In the quiet of my soul
In the stillness I hear Your voice call
And I am overwhelmed
And I am lost for words
To describe You


Jesus You're more than a friend
Jesus You're more than my heart could ever express
Your love and Your grace never fail me
Your merciful touch always heals me
You bring joy to my soul

My heart longs to worship You my king
And I long to bring You a pleasing offering

And I am overwhelmed
And I am lost for words
To describe You.

- - - - -

As a new door opens, we close the ones behind.
And if you search your soul I know you'll find

you never really knew me.

- - - - - -

Hiatus for the coming busy week. A week's clear break.

__________________________

"Old age isn't a battle; old age is a massacre."

"I rise to conversation, because conversation is my only recreation.
In a sense I was prepared, and in a way one never is."


Finished Philip Roth's Everyman. I almost couldn't sleep after it.

Roth's Everyman is godless and nameless; even the book looks like death. But it was a nice read I guess. The thing with reading about dying is it reminds you to keep living, like reading about death reminds you that you are alive.

"oh I'm sorry, truly. I abhore tears."

"We all do," he told her, "but we cry anyway."

-

She wept uncontrollably.
"Do you know why she's carrying on like that?"

it's because life's most disturbing intensity is death.
it's because death is so unjust.
it's because once one has tasted life, death does not even seem natural.

i have thought- secretly i was certain- that life goes on and on.

"Well, you're wrong.

She's like that because she isn't 18 anymore."

-


but how it appeared that like any number of elderly, he was in the process of becoming less and less, and would have to see his aimless days through to the end as no more than what he was -

the aimless days and the uncertain nights and the impotently putting up with the physical deterioration and the terminal sadness and the waiting and waiting for nothing.

this is how it works, he thought, this is what you could not know.


________________________________________

web quizzes are great because you allow something to pretend to understand you, and then come up with contradictory analyses so you can laugh it away.

Only to realise, naturally, that maybe you're that complex, irrational, illogical after all.

it was fun while it lasted. a great way to cover the silence at home. (the noisy girl is gone..) and they actually let you feel good about yourself, unless you get unsavory results like ultimate NERD (sob) and mega taitai..







What Muse Are You?

Your Inner Muse is Melpomene

You are most like this muse of tragedy. While you aren't depressed, you don't shy away from sadness. Although you do tend to be gloomy, you have a sensitive side. And this sensitive side helps inspire and help others.

What Do People Think Of Your Face?
(my bro had many comments to make for this one. he has a mean streak that boy.)

What Your Face Says

At first glance, people see you as driven and ambitious. Overall, your true self is moody and dynamic. With friends, you seem dramatic, lively, and quick to react. In love, you seem mysterious and interesting. In stressful situation, you seem like you're oblivious to the stress.

BB! BB!
What Color Green Are You?

You Are Mint Green

Balanced and calm, you have mastered the philosophy of living well. Your friends seek you out for support, and you are able to bring stability to chaotic situations. You're very open and cheerful - and you feel like you have a lot of freedom in life. Your future may hold any number of exciting things, and you're ready for all of them!

What Time Of Day Are You?

You Are Sunrise

You enjoy living a slow, fulfilling life. You enjoy living every moment, no matter how ordinary. You are a person of reflection and meditation. You start and end every day by looking inward. Caring and giving, you enjoy making people happy. You're often cooking for friends or buying them gifts.All in all, you know how to love life for what it is - not for how it should be.

actually, this is more of who I WISH to be. I cannot cook, and I don't really care for a slow life, and I really would like to live every moment properly..



What Color Flower Are You?

You Are a Blue Flower

A blue flower tends to represent peace, openness, and balance. At times, you are very delicate like a cornflower. And at other times, you are wise like an iris. And more than you wish, you're a little cold, like a blue hydrangea.

How Cynical Are You?

You Are 16% Cynical

Cynical? Not even close! If anything, you're a bit naive. Overall, you enjoy life and try not to be paranoid. Even if you've been burned before.

What Kind of Intelligence Do You Have?
(this is really good cos it assumes one even has intelligence. How fun.)

Your Dominant Intelligence is Musical Intelligence

Every part of your life has a beat, and you're often tapping your fingers or toes. You enjoy sounds of all types, but you also find sound can distract you at the wrong time. You are probably a gifted musician of some sort - even if you haven't realized it. Also a music lover, you tend to appreciate artists of all kinds. You would make a great musician, disc jockey, singer, or composer.

The above are unisex ones lol. I found all of the girly ones from wanqing's blog The usual guy-girl ones. whoohoo its fun. (: (:



What City Do You Belong In?
(please try this and let me know so maybe we can go travelling together (: )

You Belong in London

A little old fashioned, and a little modern. A little traditional, and a little bit punk rock. A unique woman like you needs a city that offers everything. No wonder you and London will get along so well.

What Kind of Shoe Are You?

You are Sneakers!

You're an active girl, who's all about function You dress for the occasion - comfort comes first Your perfect guy? Someone who can keep up with you. You'll find him - but you might have to slow down to see him!

What Do Guys Like About You?
(it is here my bro goes nothing nothing nothing! you? eww! and he thinks its funny.. wait till he gets a girlfriend i'm going to get my revenge)

Guys Like That You're Sensitive

And not in that "cry at a drop of a hat" sort of way You just get most guys - even if you're not trying to Guys find it is easy to confide in you and tell you their secrets No wonder you tend to get close quickly in relationships!

Which Hollywood blonde?
(woot i get to be a blonde!)


Cher, you're most like Naomi Watts.


Whether she's fighting off giant apes or evil forces, Naomi Watts always comes across as one tough cookie. You, too, are a strong and determined leading lady, with a quiet intensity that others are likely to find both alluring and magnetic.

Cool and deep, you've earned a reputation for being a class act. Those who take the time to get to know the real you will admire both your focus and fierce loyalty. Keep it up! With your combination of grace and inner strength, you can star in any role you choose.


What Type of Beauty Are You?
i love this one it assumes nicely. (:

You Are a Flawless Beauty

When it comes to beauty, you spare no expense - and it shows You're the kind of woman a man would launch a thousand ships for It's hard for anyone to beat you in the beauty department But remember, it's okay to show a flaw or too - you've got plenty to spare

waaaahhhh i wish.




I've left the coolest one last!

What's your Ultimate Girl's Escape Fantasy Roadtrip?

(all girls try this out so that we can go on our roadtrip next year!)


You're tripping on karma on a Hippy Roadtrip!

Cool it man, we're not implying that you wander around with straggly hair wishing peace on everyone, but we can detect a strong element of a free spirit in you. We can see you relishing the chance to escape the modern pressures of life for a laid-back trip of a life time.

A VW Beetle or CamperVan might be too much of a cliche for you, but perhaps one of the sporty SMART cars might be your perfect escape vehicle? Of course, the ultimate hippy Roadtrip has to be Goa in India, a Mecca for free spirits everywhere. We can see you watching a beautiful sunset with sand between your toes and a blissful smile on your face. The best things in life are sometimes the simplest, just as long as the sun keeps shining and you have more new interesting people to meet and places to explore!

__________________________________

Click.

my sis on youtube lol.. Such a clever girl. tasmania! (:
the guy is sneaky he doesn't ask her australian friend.

stc etiquette course


one of the cooler few.
dance video!


dancing is like dreaming with your feet


I like this one best..






dance is music made visible.

____________________________

Taking a break from kid's central's the Snorkles..

-

candy empire is officially my bro's favourite place. He was squealing and racing around the place like a boy in a candy shop lol. He spent quite a bit on wonka's whipple scrumptious caramel delight, which is the love. We thought he found the golden ticket inside when it was just the gold backing for the chocolate. ): So disappointing. I want to go to the chocolate factory.

And I'm tired of vivo city, although going with my mum is good cos then I can buy without reference to price, and the forever21 shorts are very comfortable and trendy because the cashier told mum she'll be forever 21 after wearing them. (them shorts were for me lol and I don't want to be 21)

I still think nothing beats orchard through. Went out with clara and I bought mum a bohemian skirt. I'm orchestrating a makeover for her, starting with esprit cos they seem to be getting older with their apparel. Never mind at least I got an esprit card which is good value cos you only need to spend $150 for it and then you get a discount for a year! What's more you can share the card. (:

I was looking around old friends' pictures and oh my goodness the babies have all grown up! Sob.. Wanda I hope you don't mind (:


LIYAN Mc curdy and wanda yelliee!!

Haha the last time I saw wanda was during a pre u sem filming. "stupid swimmer i'm sure you grow so tall".
And someone told me liyan has legs up to her ears. :D


They haven't changed and they've changed so much. Ah sigh. We all grow up so fast. Like, just 16 years ago I was bald and look at me now. The complete reversal of ageing.

AND I haven't seen so many people for such a long time, so much so that I dreamt about soomeh lol (:


smoot&tanneh obviously. all the class dears; sara flew off to paris ): peck's dating goong bren's study-busy julee's working etc etc.. kx's going for choir overseas trip soon, and smoot's going perth soon, which leaves tanneh (and LATEST NEWS she's going hk for a week sadness). and i dunch care where lip is going cos he say i attitude and rebel and noob, like boo to him. and he drag me here to make amendments and force me to show weakness what the. you don't see bush retracting statements and calling back the troops do you..

[edit: ok back to ghost whisperer so exciting.]

My sis's going m'sia for her leadership OBS lol, and I think marcus is dead. And I promised kimberly / kerryn / joel we'll catch up, but everyone's so busy ): And even my mum thinks I should be nice and keep the movie date with him but every day's quite packed..

Oh no and this is J1 and next year we'll be too busy packing up our memories into foldable boxes to live for the moment.

aiyah never mind lah.

But at least there's storyline stuff / people to look forward to, and definitely jazz and dance friends, and carolling and xmas shopping so all's good so far.
-

back to the snorkels.

_________________________________

guess whooooo


jdsakldjasodjopasd
(says vivek)

xiumz:
welcome to "JOKER SUPERSTAR!!" today we have 4 losers. let's hear what they have to say..

- - - - - - -

what did the chair say to the table?


-nothing, chairs can't talk.

what did the table reply?


-nothing, tables can't talk either.

-yfnh =)
(your friendly neighbourhood hyqel)


- - - - - - - -

xiumz says:

two men walking out of an exam hall after an english test:
man A: how did you find the test?
man B: it was fine. .. only one question.
man A: which one?
man B: i juz couldn't find the past tense of think.
man A: so?
man B: so i thought and thought and i thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought




...and i put "thunk".



(insert laughter)
---------

[an interlude]

HELLO chermaine!!

hello hello im getting very bored over here. play something nice for me to hear! ((:
okay rubbish rubbish.

signing off,
your BEST friend tania



- - - - - - - - - - - - - -

sneha is very funny.
here's a joke, in case you don't believe it.

q: why did the golfer have to wear two pairs of underwear?







a: in case he got a hole in one!

haha! (better than hyqel).
whooooooooxxzzxzxxzzxzxxzxzx

love
sneha


- - - - - - - - - - - - -
vivek says.

There's an adult bull and a baby bull racing in parallel lines.
Adult bull is faster than the baby bull.
How fast is the adultbull?






Answer: Faster than a speeding bullette.


- - - - - - - - - - - -




and we have come to the end of the "JOKER SUPERSTAR". thank you for your attention. and hope you aren't smashing the computer already.



see you next time!

remember to call 1900 DAM DUMB to vote for hyqel's joke.
and 1900 BIG NOSE to vote for vivek's. (says sneha)
and 1900 MOS KITO to vote for sneha's.
and 1900 XIU MEAN to vote for xiumz'.




author of blog says:
jazz is never boring..

_______________________________________________

tiredpainedhurttwistedshakenafraiddrowsywearylost


free.



How Wonderful

Here I come wondering if You'll be there
How was I to know
You were waiting there for me


Now I know
Your love is stronger than my fears
You came running to hold me in Your arms
To wipe away my tears
now I can live again


How wonderful is Your love
How beautiful is Your voice
How marvelous the promises are true
You deserve all the praise
You deserve all the honor and glory


Holy is Your name

_______________________________________

Never mind then.


I guess I thought I could.




But it's alright.
___________________________________

Finally watched STEP UP, and FINALLY went vivo city (: (:

Hooray the movie was great. Vernus (ever the latin dancer) was clapping her hands after every cool routine jenna dewan executed and it was great. Didn't really show off her real capability, but the energy and hidden joy were evident woot. Vernus was gushing about dewan's pirouettes GG. I have never seen the like.

Beautiful.

I thought the start was the best! The contrast between and blend of hiphop street and ballet was so stylistically different. Boy am I gushing. :D Step Up gives cliches a good name.

Neway.. the elevators still take super long.

Thai Express lunch was such a rush ): Vivo is huge and we couldn't find any good eateries besides Carl Jrs which has crazily huge portions that turn you into paris hilton haha so we went Thai Express.

Pam's mum's shop! The Cocoa Trees. So cheery. (:

there were many models around. This one looked like the guy from Lost, Sawyer or something. ;)

at GAP! At first we were very hyped up, eagerly looking for GAPGAPGAP. It was a tad disappointing. I don't understand why the clothes in the US are so much nicer than this collection, but never mind. Everything was more or less overpriced anyway. And vernus tried two racer backs which we didn't expect to be so translucent (or was that the whole point hmm.)

But the salesmen there were so nice and friendly. They treated us like we were longlost pals or something. One was really sweet he hung around explaining stuff even though the place was a little crowded. Sometimes...

(There's this song lyrics playing now. All my life, where have you been.. Ah well, where I'm going with this is anybody's guess.)

Topshop was the best! Yay a marked difference from the one at wisma. The accessories were cute, she bought a nice pair of shades. I couldn't cos surprise surprise it was too big for my face, which is weird. I think my head's too small.

Tried on some head bands / hair bands but I only ended up looking more like a schoolgirl. Sigh.

Oh yes I met joyce! Yay it was fate cos we were actually walking in the wrong direction then bumped into her. Shopping with her mum (: (:

And I saw rachel ermm nessie? (soomeh tanneh!) too. She looked at me in the o.O way haha it was quite funny. I was like aww man I ain't kewl enuff to be here?! :P

There were a surprising number of hot guys at vivo. I really didn't know Singapore had so many of them. Vernus thought so too, and she's short-sighted lol. Easily 20+. I would do the whole 5 o'clock 5 o'clock! thing and she'll be where where cos she can't see lol. Where do they come from anyway..

And then we saw my favourite place. A little heaven on earth.

So much love.

my new best friend. :)

-

Ok back to Survivor. Tomorrow is a very very busy day, ending off with sentosa dinner with the modern dancers.

___________________________________

Goodness gracious I never knew you could upload pictures via blogger.

Wow technology is so advanced.


I hope gareth is at video ezy (jelita) today. ;)


peace out.

PW outing / Onyee's birthday (:

Onyee was so nice to celebrate her birthday with us. Yay for onyee.

The projectors have really grown as a group.. Greasy man, some very unnatural tendencies, french tea, japanese lessons the day before op, making real plasticine art (I feel accomplished), pulling off the skit (especially the light bulb part lol)..

I dunno man. I've never really thought of us as obsessive individuals gunning for individual EEs. Somehow or other it was always about the Projectors, and it was so great cos there wasn't competition. It was always just, well, us. Appreciated that so much. (:


So anyway. much love. (:


working hard yay




working extremely hard




tea has admitted on yee is very very strong!





hahaha no comment. I'm good at sneaky shots.




ain't that pretty.




this for eh peck. (:




On yee's birthday!


that's peck's happy look lol. give people nightmares only




the girls



annie peck




her SURPRISE ice cream cake. another sneaky request for a cake. (:




make a wish

:P


and as an arts group we had to check out the biennale. els is a very cool guide. (:






els is right. Arts is about visual arts too, a form I have sorely neglected in my quest to know all there is about arts (well actually, that and theater.) And somehow its a vastly different medium from performing, from writing / reading, from listening. And I'm really glad I got to see, this time.



I know els absolutely loves donna ong's works, and tis true tis true.





its actually under the table. I wouldn't have noticed it unless I really looked.. Hmm.



another of her works. this one required parental guidance.



this wasn't the highlight of her work, but its nice anyway


I liked Rizman Putra's Sonto Al Loyo installation the best. The installations were great along with the different music blaring from the boomboxes in front.

I liked the chaotic sounds. The cacophony just bordering on becoming noise. Like coloured noise.
It was quite different from the usual structured concordant fugues and oratorios I have to hear most of the time. /:




this is my parting shot before I had to go kino and dash home :(




i like this one.
There is a quiet strength, a silent sense of isolation. a subtle distancing from everything else.

It is alone. And somehow, its so quiet.

.
.
.


It is also not an art piece from the biennale haha. It's actually a chair (no duh) for guides to rest on I imagine. They are scattered around city hall. :D

Haha that's art for you. I wouldn't go as far as to say anything's art, but well. Some things speak to different people.

- - - - - -
this is of no importance. I just type what comes to mind that's just the way this is.


'Don't say something that isn't nice.'

But my sister calls it constructive feedback.

How confusing.


Sometimes I want to run far away from certain things, and some. How unfortunate.

Then I try and forget the strange stuff people do. So that I don't have to be mean, and erm injudicious. A good way is to keep perspective.


But I can't just smile it away.


My friend told me there's a someone who's trying to be like me. (?!! now what is that supposed to mean.) Which is funny cos I don't even know who this me is.

I think its dumb. Don't try to be me, cos sometimes, I really don't want to be me.

there's really nothing we can do about the things we have to live without.

I should just continue with my roth and fall into a permenantly depressed state. That will be a change. Or I could get my ben and jerrys out, call up my sis for a chat (she's at her camp putting on makeup as I speak), or randomly go off to town and see how many friends I can meet. The last time I was there I saw qing qing and eunice and joel. All happy.

There's happiness there too. If only you knew how to look.


OH right! WEDNESDAY was a WONDERFUL day because my mum called me up while I was at taka to tell me that the CATERING HAD BEEN STOLEN. I was elated. The sun was shining and everyone looked happy (: (:

For that day, no more funny braised pork with onion bits and weird ginseng chicken broth and spinach scallop oh the cruelty is unimaginable.

Instead, we had KAY EFF SEE.

Oh joy.

- - - -

Oh yes. I wish the soccer dude all the best for his match tomorrow against the guys from the jc very near my place. :O Told him I wanted to drop by to check out the school (oeii marcus lim!) but I have shopping tomorrow with vernus. Treat her to movie after she sprained her back, poor thing.

_________________________________