05 December 2006
6:48 PM
some days i feel like the last cookie in the jar. eat one more and its overkill. leave it and you keep thinking about it..
what should I do.
I don't seem to know anymore.
anyway i wanted to find another layout more chirpy and holiday-ish so that at least it looks
sunny sunshine. obviously this wasn't what was in mind, but it will do..
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SOOMEH faster come back I miss you ): at least i know you're having a great time woot!peck thank yoo for lunch ;) i will not forget mumps comment. watch out.
lun please stay healthy. please stay happy.
william enjoy work, and be strong...
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"when the dawn falls..
all they wanted was to,
start the dance
- to the music-
slowly and sweetly."
so many people keep saying i'm very emo on my blog but that ain't true. i'm just incredibly tired, so much so that i type whatever i think. and somehow it sounds emo. i'm not angsty really. nothing has ever happened that i bemoan or didn't deserve.
somehow that works for me.
i don't want to :D :D :D :D when i'm not. just like i don't want to singalongnodsmilewave all the time. (they're all wrong. you get so tired of it all after a while.)
sorrysorrysorryi don't know why i do the things i do. i don't know if all this time spent on everything else is ever going anywhere. I DON'T KNOW.
i don't know if I should run off to some deserted beach along some forsaken continent and just chill and HOPE that i'll be happy.
i don't know if i should persuade mum to go on with the shopping trip in bangkok and throw everything else to the dogs.
i don't know if that will make me happy, or if i'll just end up wondering about what's next.
what makes me decide to do the things i do. i don't know.
don't let your life pass you by.
i just pray. and pray and pray.
and ask
Him to guide me. because He always has.
He always will. and He's the only one left that I can trust. to pull me through this drowning abyss, to pull me
along before i drown.
remember when we were just fools? it was pretty simple then. it should be pretty simple now.
it should be.its funny how we feel so much but cannot say a word.
funny how we are screaming inside but can't be heard.
So I like being tragic. but what's so different this time, that we can't ignore?
nothing nothing nothing. just me and the excruciating arbitrariness. some solitary silhouette anxious for twilight;
for blessed dissolution.
Tomorrow 9am to 9pm and beyond. its motivating.
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