philos
liberté
princeps
memoria

Happy Chinese New Year (:


May everyone get their well deserved break, spending your waking hours eating, and the rest sleeping stress away. ;)




Reunion dinner (peach garden)




the best fish I have eaten in my life.









ilovemybroilovemybro. I wish he'd stop getting bigger but it's alright cos we all have to grow up one day.





Quite weird this family. Everyone was pushing around the shark's fin and nobody really finished theirs. it was brewed with shark cartilage so it had this strong texture that I hated and there were extra bowls lying around.

Then when it comes to cheap stuff like spring chicken, everyone grabs. haha. The convos around the table were largely circling around wrist slitting and which is the proper way to do it (according to my sis, downwards along the vein) and my cousin thinks you can't die from it but people die from the blood poisoning instead.

my sister sang rudolph the red nose reindeer throughout the yusheng thing and while the lady chanted out prosperous sounding chinese words my aunt kept repeating "God bless this dish, God bless this dish". it was funny. lol.

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Pizza party was nice nice nice (: It is the only pizza I have ever eaten where I didn't need to peel anything off, cos everything was just so darn good.




But even if the food turned out sucky or the gelato tiramisu french vanilla magnolia ice cream turned out gross, the company was the bestest I could ask for, so it's all good (:




















accomplished chefs!







muacks.


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hold on but don't hold too tight.

Just read sara's blog. I've forgone the habit of reading blogs quite a while back (besides usual ones- smoot tanneh bren some dancers), when my eyes gave me trouble again, so I could only check mail, blog some and then shut down..

I think it's so sad but so true, the way everyone just walks around zombified, tired, sian,.. There isn't the bubbly or at least a hopefulness anymore, the way it was last year. It's almost as if the things that used to be fun and cool and happening just aren't anymore, and all we're left with are the same people with different scarier problems ahead, with no new ways of coping.


Ageing sucks. I feel 8 years older than I am, almost as if the wrinkles are setting in. They say you have to start taking care of your skin at age 18. I dowwan.


because you wouldn't believe me even if i told you.

and that hurts because it just does.


chinese new year (and christmas and birthdays and newyears and friday nights) always hurts a little.

the computer says For Help, press F1.

I hope help comes soon. I feel like drowning in a sea of mini kueh balu that i have never tried and wishing cny will come and go soon.


i love being reunited. i just wish it were true. and like i said, its not about angst or about stuff that i've regretted or whatever. its about how things could have been different. for all of us. and i would never know how.


one sunny day i'm going to forget everything that has happened. i only don't know when. and because of that i can't move on, even though i can face the days as normal.

then i wonder if its really so important. all the whole moving on business. what's wrong with staying in limbo, and living life almost perfectly alright..


i can't say i want to be loved, because i know i am.
i can't say i have pain or anger or pent up misery that needs releasing. i don't.
i can't say i am perfectly fine anymore. i'm not.

but then i wonder, who really is.

who doesn't cry at night, inside or outside. who doesn't go to sleep only to wake up worried or even more tired..?




Sister: I want to ride a scooter. Feel the wind in my hair…
Mum: Just stand in front of the fan lah.



happy chinese new year friends.
eat and be merrily prosperous.