if i had to give disappointment a flavour,

it would be spicy musk.

try and overcome it, and it overcomes you.

forget it, and it lingers.

everyone, i'm sorry i can't cope well enough to properly interact with people. some can still maintain their shell, even when their brains' elsewhere..

i can't.

i can't smile without smiling.
so that's why i seem so drained, so sian..

when i'm not. really.
it's just the mindmaps in my mind - stretching, grasping, reaching at everything so that i can get the fuller picture

so that everything can be perfect.


______ at the top of my lungs.


one day i'll look at myself and ask if everything was worth it.

and i already know the answer.

thing is, we have our highs and lows. and it's the little things that keep me going on..

thank God for the people in my life. Cos I can't press on without them..

sosomuch thanks

vernus- for msg rant. for understanding.

ivy- for all the help and talks and tuition

martin- proposals proposals proposals. for help when i was completely inefficient

lun- for the hug, and for tickets haha.

class fellowship- prayers...

my secret valentine...

and for the fantasy giggling today before KI. If only it were true....

one day i'm going to tell you how much you taught me. about how people can be one person, and a completely different person at another time. how you taught me that not everyone is going to matter. how you will not matter, soon enough. because you're just the same as the rest of them. all those in the hall of pain.

and the funny thing is - i thought different. how silly of me.

JAZZCAMP

CHINESEDANCECAMP