25 February 2007
3:15 PM
My sister is killing me with haydn's sonata. It's drumming into my brain.
my morning pick-me-up.
you know sometimes you can feel this strange onslaught of stress / worry / panic. i hate it. i can hear the maniacal chanting in the head.
oh no oh no oh no
its getting more and more impossible to give my best now. everything matters, and now everything's half done. always half done.
what if what if... jazz and dance cannot clash. that can't happen. i'm doomed if it does.
what if it does?i must have faith.
the will of God will never lead you where the grace of God cannot keep you.
remember remember remember.Just got a call from brian chua the robot. The noob won best actor... not bad! (:
But talking rubbish for a while is good stuff. Things / stress I felt a while ago can get submerged, hopefully forgotten..
Must keep reading my hamlet. what is polonius saying what is polonius saying... (polonius reminds me of
polo ralph lauren's new wooly cardigans.. ahh sighh..)
Just ate the new macs bagel thing. Not bad! With tomato! (:
There's syf prac again tomorrow. I don't think I can move my legs anymore. EVERY muscle aches. Tiger balm really has its limits. (and oh no I'm feeling the pain on my right side again. Maybe overstretched or something.)This is insane. Seriously this is.Count one to ten, deep breath...Breathe
out.I should make the most of all the negative frustration stuff in my mind. Channel it to somewhere more effective.
Like a machine.
Forget, forgetting...
I've stepped on too many false alarms. Everything's spinning around, circling, going in rigid triangular frames that are propositionally possible but really is ineffectual.
I wish I could remain insouciant. Void sounds so empty. Like hole.
O! Woe is me,To have seen what I have seen, see what I see!- Ophelia
Woe is me, that I do not see. Waking up with all the lost hours gone, that's scary. I spend my waking hours craving sleep, and then when I sleep, I am lost.
is everybody going crazy
