02 February 2007
1:03 PM
Suddenly,
poof! and everything changes.
I hope it stays that way, because I can't be heading for a meltdown.
Sometimes you want to tell yourself to let it all go, give it all up, and all that sickening pathetic things you tell yourself when you can't cope with everything.I never wanted to excel in everything, I've never required anything to perfect. And I have never overly compared myself to anyone / anything else.. I just want to be able to manage everything I've taken up. Why is that so difficult. Why is it bordering on the impossible. Why are people telling me to let things go, that something's gotta give, that I can't go on this way,that I can't have everything...I'm trying to cook a nice lunch for myself today. Chinese XO sausage with rice-in-water with a half-boiled egg. I hope it works out. Me trying independent living.. (:
It sucks being sick and knowing you have to go back to school for CCA later. But that's just another thing I've taken up.
I keep praying, and I know I'm on the right path.
I just don't know whether I can run yet.
