07 June 2007
10:26 PM
I can't sleep.Plath has been sitting around inside my head. I shouldn't have moped about reading
Ariel all day. Doesn't do me any good, this obsession with my h3lit paper.
It isn't all morbid in there. Suicide is so ironic. In a world where everyone tries to stay alive at all costs, how do we judge those who decide to end it. This final experience that promised to be very different. An
eternal oblivion.
People or stars
Regard me sadly, I disappoint them.
In a way the experience of reading Plath deeply is a frightening one.
So now here I am, stuck with this insane preoccupation with a lot of things, with the self and moods and doubts. And wondering, what it must be like..
Alone.
Yeah I can't sleep.
And it isn't
Lady Lazurus or
The Bee Meeting or
Daddy that's swirling around in my mind. It's
Elm. I keep reading it over and over again.
Is it the sea you see in me,Its dissatisfactions? 'I have suffered the atrocity of sunsets.'-
And this is uncanny.
And how will your night dancesLose themselves. In mathematics?Haha. That was the big shock today. That there is
Integration in JC math. I had
no idea I
ever did integration in JC.. I screamed when I saw them lying harmlessly in my file.
I am going mad.
