philos
liberté
princeps
memoria

"Does it seem right to you,

that there should be no common language between us?
That there should be no way to bring a drop of water to those of us who languish in the flames?
That between us and the man of the cloth there is a great gulf fixed?
How can capital-T Truth not be communicable?
It makes no sense to me..


Let me simplify the issue.

Do you think that some people are intentionally and irretrievably consigned to predition? Are there people who are simply born evil, live evil lives, and then go to hell?"



Well.



"I tell them there are certain attributes our faith assigns to God: omniscence, justice, and grace.
We human beings have such a slight acquaintance with power and knowledge, so little conception of justice, and so slight a capacity for grace,
that the workings of these great attributes together is a mystery we cannot hope to penetrate."





-


Last last saturday at Smoot's church, the sermon was about the purpose and function of cell groups within the ministry, quite a drowsy message so I spent the time reading Matthew 13, because somehow I felt there was something there that I should refer to again.


"Though seeing, they do not see;
though hearing, they do not hear or understand."
Matthew 13:13

"For this people's heart has become calloused;

they hardly hear with their ears,

and they have closed their eyes.

Otherwise they might see with their eyes,

hear with their ears,

understand with their hearts
and turn,

and I would heal them.'
Matthew 13:15

"For My thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways My ways"
-Isaiah 55




How important humility is to faith.. God wants nothing more than to bless us with His gifts, and I guess we need to acknowledge that for all our supposed intelligence, we don't really know much.



Yup. And I liked smoot's methodist church (: First time in my life I've seen pastors wearing the collar. Quite a nice distinguished look to it.
The best part of it was of course, the worship, especially when they sang To God be the Glory. I used to sing it when I was a little kiddy at my presbyterian service, then I moved to Grace AOG, and they didn't sing hymns anymore.


I am aware naturally, of the destructive potency of religious self-righteousness. But that is a different stream of thought for a different day.


I am also aware that these extemporaneous remarks are the manifestation of my headache all day. :\ Must go eat Macs lunch to cheer myself up. (:










-







This life, with its own mortal loveliness, provides a thousand thousand reasons to live this life, and every one of them sufficient.

Grace is not so poor a thing, that it cannot present itself in any number of ways..

HAPPY BURFDAY TANNEH (:





I was waiting for midnight so it could be cool wish but I have to sleep cos my head's killin' me (softly, with his song).. :\



Anyway, had so much fun on sat at smoot's and it was really really coool ( :) :) ). Much LOVE. On sunday, tanneh treated us to a day at escape!, which I have never been to. it is actually quite decent especially if you got good company. The go-kart was my fav because I love the thrill and tanneh was roaring up behind me so I could pretend I was like Jay chou or something (initial D.. I didn't even watch it) and like, own the track. Smoot said I was a speed demon and I was uber pleased cos no one has ever called me that before, after all my sister calls me librarian or nerd so to be called speed demon is extreme coolness. I feel invincible.



And then I promptly lost my voice from all the screaming at my other fav, the FAMILY COASTER. Do not let this seemingly innocuous name deceive you, this ride will give you massive heart palpitations. I was doing some serious banshee screaming and tanneh was giggling and carmen and smoot were like dead or something cos I never hear them scream. I think they were just trying to be manly and keep the screams in, but it was still super fun. The choo-choo train just goes up and down and all around. (: (: joy.




Then we got soaking wet cos the 3 of them showed no mercy so I showed no mercy and it was super hot and my skin was sizzling even with my cap and there was water everywhere so it is the perfect time to fall sick haha. But I wasn't really, smoot had it worse from the INVERTER. Sounds evil, because it is. I lost brain matter from all that hanging upside down, not that I had much to begin with, but every bit is important.






They also went to the Haunted House which I was regrettably (well not really) too chicken to go into. And tanneh was very brave cos she didn't want to go either but she went anyway, and came out not knowing much about the whole thing haha but still brave nonetheless. I couldn't go in cos the men became monsters and I'm scared of monsters and deep growling voices cos they echo in my head. Smoot and carmen are the extremely gungho ones as usual. (: Then when the 3 of them went in, the guy manning the booth told me they were having trouble or whatever. I thought someone was crying or something but I was smart and said Like Real! and then the other fella tried to use moral suasion but purlease man.


We also sat on the yakult ride which is cool cos you can fly.


Then we played time zone and chilled at smoot's place. (: I think I am developing a taste for the lime b.breezer so I better watch it.


Yup! That was nice. I am not burnt cos smoot's sunblock is powderful (hehe).














us on sat (at about 1am): tired and dirty but pleased haha.









happy burfday!!




And I found 2006 / 2005 pictures for good measure (:





2006 at a garden in seoul











2005
beach party

(smoot was main surprise party planner but she took the picture so she wasn't in it! ): )








Okey dokes..








ah ok actually I'm feeling a tad bit sentimental haha..
So.





smoot with mega high cheekbones (angmoh mahh), tanneh with mega big dove eyes (chio mahh), and cher (never mind).







spageddies











That a lifetime's not too long to live as friends.

this one's a rock star and that's an actor


Rock, drugs, anarchy. Lights, cameras and the cold hard place.


Unbelievable, the way they justify the laziness and denial in these dark, accelerated days. Almost as unbelievable as obesity killing kids in the US and poverty starving kids in Chad.

Tangible irony is hard to find
But when you do, it's hard to forget




Alright, my last chance to be brilliant.



Where do I start

I lost my way one November and it felt great



I was crushed in the oxford austerity and made to count the heads like they count stars.





These days people don't count though. They take buses to nowhere to be with no one, because it is important. These things are very important and you shouldn't ever lose



The feeling of going nowhere and being no one. The nameless faceless individual I saw






That day in the crowd.

-

Hoho. Finally, and I thought it would never come..

A European Union court upheld the antitrust ruling handed down to Microsoft by the European Commission in 2004. The court decided that the commission was right to fine Microsoft euro497m ($690m) for “bundling” its media player with Windows.

The Economist

In other news, I have vegetated for so so long. I sit on my bed and think about anything that comes to mind, or read Emma (which is disgustingly like holding up a mirror) for 7 hours non-stop and sleep like a log after, because I get headaches from reading too long. Then I eat dinner (after forgetting to eat lunch) and watch dance night dvd (yes i know I'm slowww but I just got it!) Then I put groban's Alejate on repeat (psychotic I know) and listen to soaring baritone and think about learning latin.







The ticking watch just kills you. The alternative to vegetating is studying, and since I still feel I know everything (haha.. a life and a day of the deluded) I don't see the point. And I also know why JC lasts for only 2 years.



Can I go sightseeing soon..? ): Singapore is boring me.



[edit]
lol the stupid boy never fails.. it is weird that the one who clubs has the most impeccable timing. I would have thought he'd be drunked-out. Hmm. ):
[/edit]

Solitude is the balm of loneliness


I proudly quote that to my mum, who gave me this weird look. She thinks I've gone mad and refuses to endorse any more literary journeys to borders. She doesn't really like lit I gather. ): Maybe I should have gone into oh I dunno, medicine or something. The antithesis, but there are more similarities than differences really. Now, if only I took a science in jc...



My sis thinks I am an overachiever. I am mildly disturbed by that, because it isn't true.


I have nothing much to say and so shall resume my vicarious thrills. I have read 3 books so far and I'm on a roll. Will go library again today to find Huxley's Brave New World (finally) and Albee's Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf and maybe some PEN Award winner's contemp novel.


I cannot cannot cannot wait for the weekend. It's crawling near, slowly but surely. (:

I feel rested (finally.. after days of being completely socially inept) and I think I can finally face the big bad world (:

So come on world.


I just need days with the sun and sand, slow 2km runs in the evenings, some good ol' arthouse number and I'll bounce right back. (: This is real exciting stuff.


Being alone at home is a novel feeling. A sense of freedom you don't want. It's like seeing a Malibu postcard and knowing somehow that you wouldn't want to be there without some company. I feel weird knowing that I'm among the few done with the horrible monster that is prelims. I don't mind the exams, it's just that they are wayy too long. And I decidedly loathed the 6hour paper day. That one just murdered my braincells. Which is why I have nothing left.


Which is also why I have to fill (or empty.. I haven't decided as of now) my calendar to fit in stuff I would love to do before the A's, to build up mental stamina. I think I need to run more with that slave-driver of a sister. That, and shopping. And going to the library.




Amazing how things change so suddenly. It's almost as if I've grown up in an instant, and lost so little in the long while. Either/or.





-






I'm still awake. Lunch was nice, bread and beans. Grounded. Baked. Things that stay. If I gave you my hand, would you hold it.

I am full of dreams and the Hope that eviscerates burden.

And a Love that stays. It's there, around the corner, near the stoplight. Beyond the explosion of stars in the midnight black of sky. a piece of sky. The mosaic of yours and my beliefs patterned in the Great above.


But I can't stop. Running.
Away
From.
To.





there is much unfinished business I want to attend to.