30 December 2007
7:33 PM
my blueberry nights
wong kar wai
wong: "It’s not a road movie, it’s not about journey;
it’s about destiny."
I'm not one to watch new movies without delving into plot / character first, but wong kar wai's English-language debut required a degree of spontaneity.
His plaintive meditation is kinda melancholic, BUT it must be nice eating blueberry pie and taking comfort in jude law's gently bruised romantic philosophies. (:
If anything, watch it for its visuals. be swept away by Wong's vision.
kai!! queen of hwach choir. (:
We finally caught up after a year of procrastination! I bumped into shinbin and jiayi at borders too. Small world..
I have Class thing tomorrow!
27 December 2007
8:47 PM
MY FIRST MOE BRIEFING!
I am pleased. I'm gonna have to start finding some real Teacher-looking clothes, vests (yay!) blouses (waah?) long pants (yux) heels (nooo). The mail just came and my town council just gave me $$$, so I don't have to spend my first paycheck on Old-People Clothes.
You know something. I've realised how powerful these holidays really are. I read my friend's email just now, a thread from an imprompt email I decided to send her this morning, and her reply did make me cry in earnest.
I think people don't know how much we mean to each other, and how much our lives have changed because of a chance encounter, because of exams, because we were meant to be together in a class, cca, school, lift, shopping mall...
I don't know what to say now, only that God has worked in such an incredible miraculous way, that there is no doubt in my mind that things have come, yes, full circle.
-
My friend read the email I sent aditi, when I was whining mercilessly about uni apps and the sianness of it all. Haha. She asked me to put it here, for the inspiration of others lol. The 3-minute Essay-of-the-year.
This is what I really want to say:
"a sense of who you are." Hi.I am a girl with black hair and small eyes from Singapore. We have 4 races and many religions here, and we believe in meritocracy, but some things are more fair than others. We are politically apathetic unless we're supporting the opposition, and even so sometimes we're merely supporting Opposition as an Ideal, not a party. (Please don't tell the PaP I said this.) I believe in God, I love music and literature, and I enjoyed relaxing by the teevee during christmas. I like turkey but I prefer chicken with black pepper. Guess what? (That is my hook) I'm going to miss my friends when I'm forced to grow up by setting myself up for rejection / selection by your esteemed university. This is all part of life, but what happens if I just want it to slow down? My contributions have been many, and I've been proud of them. But somehow forcing me to write them reduces their import to words and acknowledgements. But I will cope, because I'm as resilient as a grasshopper, and these days I've eaten more corn than usual, what with food prices and maize sky-rocketing. No doubt your innovative country has contributed much to the solution as to the problem, but I do hold the belief that ethanol is not the answer to global warming. And besides, you people are eating too much beef. Not good for your cholesterol, and worse still for the environment. You could try innovating a new lifestyle for yourself. I will fit in nicely with all the other kids in your university, because we have an essential bond already - apprehension for the unknown, misery at leaving home, and hope. Lots and lots of Hope. Like it? Yeah it's terrible I know.
26 December 2007
9:00 PM
This is a long entry. Just a bunch of nonsense strung together to end my boxing day. (:
-
I am going to tell you something I don't want to hear.
No that's not right.
I'm going to tell me something I don't want to hear.
Yes that's better.
Now where should I start.
At the beginning sounds like a fine place, but its already been far too long. Time is cut up in little boxes these days, and we're busy saving time away for a more utilitarian use. For one 'later on'.
Maybe I should begin with mr. batchelor's retirement. His leaving to the land of sheep and clean air (both of which are strangely synonymous). and that of Walks. We don't have those here; we have buses, MRTs and running to catch those. No Walks along Trails with Twigs.
But hey it's alright, we're still healthy, even though some of us have to skip meals to stay in shape, while others have to pile on the pounds to look stronger. (it's never in moderation, is it?) We've still got busybusy schedules, trying to live 2 lives at once cos there'll be 2 years gone straight to the Country. Be brave, fellow countrymen. We all have our national duties - 2.1 children, CPF contributions and 4% consumerprice hike. It is a fine city, surely. But that is for another day, the 9th of August.
Now we're trying to enjoy the holidays, and maybe in a lot of ways, we are. We're making new friends of old ones, or at least trying to be friends to our friends who we haven't show a lot of friendliness to. How were we to know about Regret? There are a lot of "i told you so" s these days. "I told you to treasure me, now i'm going and you're left behind". Or is it that I am the one going, and you left behind?
I'd rather stay put in this reckless equilibrium, letting the holiday bustle envelop me like surroundsound system.
My mistakes have been multitudinous, and maybe so have yours. The thing is moving forward, striving ahead for the goal, and the prize that is yours. That's in the Word. That's my illumination.
Honestly? This didn't begin with a Me Reflection. I stopped doing those when I realised they were pointless and entirely extravagant. This actually germinated from a budding intention to discuss a conundrum - the world's dietary inequity. But by feeling a little gouty after lunch, it would be insensitive, obtuse. So I hesitate, and then drop it (like it's hot).
-
I have lost the momentum to think now. I blame it on all wiseacres who slammed Bush Jr. for pursuing a war based on faulty intelligence. ('faulty intelligence' sounds frighteningly oxymoronic)
Obama used to be my new American hero. At the Jefferson Jackson Dinner, I thought he broke it down with such finesse:
planet in peril. nation at war. working harder for less. Bush taking fear and falsehood into taking the country into a war that should have never been authorised or waged.
But NOW, he's so busy telling the people what he thinks they want to hear, that he broaches sweeping statements, phase withdrawal for troops, and other pie-in-the-sky plans (both him and john edwards too).
Then there's Clinton, she's done a 180degree turnaround since 2002 after she proclaimed to all who would listen that the US should "disarm or be disarmed".
Bravado I thought only Bush Jr. was capable of. Having decided (belatedly) that it is not America's war to win or lose, and pushing it on iraq to decide to provide unified government is lip service. I mean, where's the respect for the grey areas when campaigning? Or a nuanced view, drowned amidst her determination to win the white house back for democrats, or be the First Woman President. Whatever that is supposed to mean.
Seriously, I was under the impression that gender equality involved the unconscious disregard for gender, not the misplacement of loyalties.
Ok 'nuff mumbled.
Thank you aditi for the mp3 Sylvia Plath by Ryan Adams. (:
25 December 2007
11:38 PM
The meaning of Christmas
The great danger of our lives is that we will be aware of Jesus Christ as the light of the world, yet choose to live in the shadows, so we can do as we please.
Our grand opportunity is to walk a path made 'bright by the presence of the Saviour':
But whoever lives by the truth comes into the light,
so that it may be seen plainly what he was done has been done through God.
John 3:21
Jesus affirmed His identity when He said:
"I am the light of the world. Whoever follows Me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life".
John 8:12
At Christmas, God calls us to follow the Light - Jesus - into the safe harbour of His presence and love.
We've chosen to follow the Light.
Merry Christmas everyone.
24 December 2007
4:57 PM
merry eve of christmas!
me mum's popular -.- She doesn't need so many gifts really haha.
my sis got a blender. She went berserk with glee, and wants to eat more of the nice kueh lapis that smoot gave lol. She claims it has drunk properties but smoot says it's made of prunes, not blueberries.
I have a camera and a hair dryer (haha). (:
and
I have a credit card.
but I got something to say about this supplementary card. I now have an official signature, my name imprinted in shiny silver on the card, and a happy face to go with such a pleasant piece of plastic. Just sign away and mum pays next month
But I'm also horrifically frightened, because this means a step closer to being financially more responsible (although no doubt financially more free). And my needing a real signature, not just those dumb little flower things I scrawl near my name... that's just blow-my-mind adult.
I'm becoming old. In 2 years I'll be twenty. No more "- teen". Eighteen, nineteen.. and then baozhaa! and I'll need a walking stick. :D
Merry christmas to meee
22 December 2007
1:12 PM
Today I am up to
edith wharton packs some punch. I'm done!
not done..
gift stuff. Meeting up with gd friends for the next few days (:
Okay gotta run.
20 December 2007
8:50 PM
This december I MUST get down to reading everything I want to read. Maybe by starting with obama's memoir, get down to clinton's just for balance, and end it all with the geography of throught or something like that.
The Holiday ListOedipus, Sophocles
Inferno, Dante Alighieri
Oranges are not the Only Fruit, Jeanette Winterson
A Clockwork Orange, Anthony Burgess (gulp)
Catch-22, Joseph Heller (i WILL get down to reading this)
The History of Love, Nicole Krauss
The House of Mirth Edith Wharton
To the Lighthouse Virginia Woolf
The Scarlet Letter Nathaniel Hawthorne
Middlemarch George Eliot
Chance Joseph Conrad
The Blind Assassin Margaret Atwood
Sons and Lovers D. H. Lawrence
Far From the Madding Crowd Thomas Hardy (sitting pretty on my table since forever)
Troilus and Criseyde Geoffrey Chaucer
The General Prologue Geoffrey Chaucer
The Language Instinct Steven Pinker
The Geography of Thought Richard Nisbett
These will be reallyreally nice birthday presents heh. So I don't have to fight with library-goers. And I don't think I can even finish half of the list.
Darn.
“Does no one want to know the truth here, Mr. Archer?
The real loneliness is living among all these kind people who only ask one to pretend!”
– Edith Wharton’s The Age of Innocence
19 December 2007
1:42 PM
Being particularly clueless about what to get most people, and what I really want myself, I resolved it by taking a web-test (:
Turns out I want something
- bling
- unique
- cool
-
useful(i.e. boring, says sister.)
That means non-friction books (please please!), normal make-up (for work, not for getai), new clothes and jackets (for work) and stuff. Things which I am better off getting by myself. Yesterday my mum went shopping and bought a manload of stuff, kindly slipping in a cashmere cream jacket for me, which actually doesn't really fit. Hmm.
Flashy or functional gifts might be fine for some, but for you and your crew, you'll get the most mileage out of gifts that come from the heart. A framed picture? A handmade card? When it comes to sweeties, it's not so much about the cost or the extravagance of the gift, but the thought behind it.
Down-to-earth and sentimental, you and your friends see the inherent value in spending time together and creating memories. After all, aren't the holidays about showing your feelings for friends and loved ones? Someone like you sure thinks so!
okie dokes! (:
And this one is more for the people who watch Heroes. (: These are really fun to do cos the options you choose actually come with pictures and large font.
I don't, so I dunno who this Nikki person is except that she has a split personality disorder and can throw people around. GG. this is not looking good. I'd rather be the guy that flies.
You know you're one tough cookie. But people really adore you for your soft side. Of course you can take care of yourself, but you also make sure to take care of those around you, and, hey, you always look good doing it!
And this grey's anatomy one is for bren haha. (:
The results really suck, I'm some random ex-wife of Mcdreamy who was / is a liar to boot. Not looking good for resumes..
Maybe you're sometimes misunderstood like your
Grey's Anatomy match Dr. Addison Montgomery-Shepherd, but it doesn't take long for people to recognize your good heart and your better intentions. From your love life to your work life to your social life, you have a natural prowess when it comes to rising to the top, even if it's a bumpy road on the way up.
No matter what, you're committed to being honest (at least most of the time!), and that always helps you land in others' good graces. Way to go!
(: okay.
1:28 PM
06
I run through the house searching for things not missing. up and down the stairs like it was important.
Looking busy was important. The black carpet was static charged and it unnerved me, when dancing purple dinosaurs didn’t.
odd.
There was always something I had to do, someone that needed my looking on, a baby crying or the maid scolding or the milk that went cold on the counter.
the days were normal and they weren't counting down like they are now.
Look, 3 seconds gone. We're getting closer to..
I would awake and get on the Bus, Blue with white stripes, and hide bunny candy in my bag
then unleash everything onto the 20 by 20 field, a banshee on a sugar rush bombarding walls.
Monkey bars and sand castles and water boats and Ms Toh (not toe) and the hokkien bus uncle and carrot potato for dinner and
look its time to sleep
But now; It's always time to sleep
18 December 2007
3:38 PM
It was only now, years later, that with adult hindsight, she recognised the sweetness of the gesture.
A grown man entertaining 3 'raccoons', treating them like real ladies. Instinctively colluding in the conspiracy of their fiction, taking care not to decimate it with adult carelessness. Or affection.
It was after all so easy to shatter a story. To break a chain of thought. To ruin a fragment of a dream being carried around carefully like a piece of porcelain
To let it be, to travel with it, as he did, is much the harder thing to do.
-
arundhati roythe god of small things
14 December 2007
12:19 PM
I'm back from KL! With the same flu germs and a heavy suitcase (:
Just some memos..
-
KL was mostly a mishmash of shopping and tired feet and a little whining at the low quality goods and squealing at the cheapstuff, something that hasn't happened often along orchard road after the 7% overkill.
my hotel was some convention centre plus a shopping mall 7 storeys high so it was pretty fun... suntec city + vivo + raffles city combined.
Impersonal, bustling, noisy, lack of equity at places, food spots randomly peppered, everything just the way I like it.
this place was reallyreallyreally weird. it was For Members Only i.e. only losers who worshipped punksatanic rock could go in. They had 2 Gollums guarding the gates.
some changing room. The saleslady loved my mum, cos she could sell her Size 0s lol.
the theme park was great. The pasty white face is evidence. I looked like Death. I couldn't breathe on the first ride. They bring you all the way up 5 storeys with your feet dangling. I was screaming the building down. And whining quite pathetically and embarrassing my brother. But ah well. That's what sisters do.
merry christmas.
Most of my money was spent on BOOKS, the love of my life. the Borders at our hotel / shopping mall is the largest in SEA, so there was no reason not to buy books even though they were about the same price. I've finally got dante's inferno and roth and eco's On Literature, among other pleasing buys.
my first day's buys.
And I got the 2003 movie Sylvia starring Gwyneth Paltrow as sylvia plath and -get this - Daniel Craig as Ted hughes.. There was one shocking semi-nude scene that my bro was unfortunate enough to view, but the poetry was good. It was a talking movie. I love those. They leave one feeling rather smart even with not having enjoyed much.
The food was nice. I was sick so I couldn't really taste much though. But it was still fun.
crispy waffles at the stop before reaching KL.
my sick-man food.
BASKIN ROBBINS
the milk-before-bedtime.
Ok now i'm humouring me. My sis told me the skyline was a good shot. And that my E was really bad. But you only live once.
L-O-V-E.
sis is weird.
The executive coach ride on our way back had movies and games so they kept us busy. Then goodluck ran out and the tyre burst so we were stranded with little light (but still playing the movies) along the roads of KL while travelling back to the Homeland. So near, yet so far.
Alright! (:
13 December 2007
10:18 AM
08 December 2007
12:21 PM
it's weird
but how do you unfriend a friend
how do you go from being pals in everythingto having nothing in common, no thread of thought similar between you two that you can spurn into a web of conversation to fill up the noisy silence otherwise.
its strange
how did we go from having the best fun in the world and the most flippant assumptions of Friends Forever
to a somewhat belated realisation that things Do Not Last.
it is almost unfair
to have come so far and have only pictures to show for it. to have laughed so much
and have only bits of notes and smses left to remind you that you had a friend like that once.
but how can that negate a friendship that was real and strong and true
that we
planned on standing the test of time
we never said
friends forever, but it was in everything we
did and said
it was implied in the little things we did for each other, in gossips and in the laughter
and somehow i've always believed that to be worth saving. the Ideal of friendship.
it being an ideal does not make it any less true.
we weren't close.
by close, i didn't spend more than 10 hours a day with you. i didn't share recess or after-schools or random thoughts i had in the day with you.
but close to me means a whole lot more
it means loyalty
it means knowing this person's got your back, and that you both will never degenerate into petty bitchy gossip about each other
loyalty means believing above all that what is said between us stays between us
it means stealing photos for each other
it means updating each other about latest sightings and happenings
it means trusting each other and knowing inwardly that we will always give each other the benefit of doubt
it means opening both eyes to irritating idiosyncracies and accepting them
it means spilling all and not having to say "but don't tell anyone" because you won't. because you know i won't.
in marriage they call this "irreconcilable differences",
when two people just can't get along and give it all up and heck the memories because the realist / cynic in them say memories are gone and past and it doesn't matter anymore and photos will serve the purpose anyhow
but it does matter.
it matters because friends are important, they keep us from being truly alone, from feeling lonely
they keep us from regretting.
This is a cowardly thing to do.
To write stuff and address them to no one - the generic you and I and We and Them. But at this moment, feeling sporific and sickly (my temperature stands at 39.6 lol), it's all I can afford..
But I will say one more thing.
This shouldn't go down without trying.
because it's not over, we just haven't tried enough.
-
I'm off for a 4-day holiday, hopefully to gain some Perspective and come back happier and more free. Please let it be nice and cool..
Be back sooner than later (:
06 December 2007
3:56 PM
Shutterfly won't load, and I've got a weird mix of photos that will load into blogger. The rest insist on slowing the computer down, so I just have to upload them next time then.
my first photo of the day: anntay
sumae! Who me mum thinks (as do I) was the best looking girl in class (:
ki girls
carmen's hair was so nice
3 of us!
gymmers
angie has my vote for Best Dressed, anyday.
my twin! the better half..
babe in black
finale partner
julee
sabrina!
eve
bwen
cat: storyline ftw
one of my fav couples
xian
viola
bong
brian klubber chua (haha)
-
I've got throat inflammation and fever, reminiscent of last year's dec-jan orientation illness. I hope I get well before my trip. I needed to return lib books and clear my locker and go for hair cut today ): The medicine is making me drowsy anyhow, and my sis's friend's visiting. The walking germ that is me has to hide in the room then..
me mum's popular -.- She doesn't need so many gifts really haha. 
edith wharton packs some punch. I'm done!
not done..
gift stuff. 
this place was reallyreallyreally weird. it was For Members Only i.e. only losers who worshipped punksatanic rock could go in. They had 2 Gollums guarding the gates.
the theme park was great. The pasty white face is evidence. I looked like Death. I couldn't breathe on the first ride. They bring you all the way up 5 storeys with your feet dangling. I was screaming the building down. And whining quite pathetically and embarrassing my brother. But ah well. That's what sisters do. 
crispy waffles at the stop before reaching KL.
my sick-man food.
the milk-before-bedtime.
L-O-V-E.
sis is weird.
my first photo of the day: anntay 
sumae! Who me mum thinks (as do I) was the best looking girl in class (: 
eve
cat: storyline ftw 
one of my fav couples
bong
brian klubber chua (haha)
