philos
liberté
princeps
memoria

My mind is numb from talk after talk... But I can safely say I learnt a lot about the science of teachership. It is the science of nuances. The art of mass - amnity. Something that needs perfecting, else you fail. I have heightened respect for the teachers who have produced the perfect lesson, every lesson. They have mastered what seems now to be the impossible.


I have also realised that I cannot sleep later than 11pm. I become anti-social, grumpy and flippant the next morning, as grace and sharon probably have discovered. Sometimes I forget I even have a smile.


(:



Ah, there it is.


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I've often wondered why they were so afraid of my aspiration. The gasps of alarm, the slightly nervous laughter , the patpat don'tworryyou'llgrowoutofit, the gape and gawk. I almost felt a little sorry after I told, because they didn't know what to make of this seeming lack of ambition. The missing drive to "be all that you can be", and "you are wasting your potential".


it never really bothered me, really. I just didn't know why. And now, I think that maybe its cos the safest route to success is one that can be monetized, calculated, measured in dollars and sense, the plain good sense that money gets you places and faces, and even if you end up dried up - at least your rich and dried up.


but these things are so frangible.

what if i don't end up with a lamborghini, but somehow (can it be?) more happy than you, happier than you'll ever be. And neither of us will ever know, but



what if?






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All these pseudo-gnomic pronouncements must be attributed to my nie indoctrination trainings the past few days.



and I wasn't supposed to say that.