03 February 2008
9:49 PM
out of the
blue, i feel suspended, totally caught by a sudden,
friendless inertia that I don't care to change.
Then i get calls from long-ago friends (I graduated a month ago you see), and others just pop up like a celebrated rodent from those arcade games that require you to hammer them back down.
Hi, we're here, and you're still alive. So am I.
It's amazing how connected we end up being, and how
alone we really are, when you take away the tenuous web links and facebook/friendster. i could stay at home forever, preparing my lesson plans and worksheets and prep talks (and morale), and be family-happy, family-contented. I could wait patiently while my sis makes her social calls and food rounds, and lunches will always be either a beef prosperity or fried rice with chilli.
Or a turkey sub.
My most eagerly-anticipated journey out of the home will be the evening rain-jog, or a trip to the library. Which I love because you find the least pretentious people there. Novels actually
tell you things about themselves, and yourself.
i think i will try remembering this feeling. and store it up, just for laughs.
