Smoot's indulgence. A fabulous buy that only tall and stately women can pull off. The rest of the short ones will look like pig farmer girls with the wrong genes. Unless, of course, they are pig farmer girls from China, which probably does have pig farmer girls but who probably don't wear overalls. They might wear straw hats, which I happen to have, so just as well.

Can't have everything.

Suzie, who walked the orchard stretch with me after dancenight buffet. Who also made joel shop with us at la senza, the poor boy.

My mum got sick of my purchases, she's making me keep the bags so I get a visual impression of my exorbitant lifestyle, which actually isn't exorbitant. She likes to cluckcluckcluck about getting branded goods but let's face it, almost everything's branded these days. And besides, things that last longer justify the price.



But anyway.

You do it all. And you do it all...all the time.

Sounds like you've got a little aversion to the word "no." But your hectic lifestyle could be taking its toll. That's why learning to put yourself first will be key to your makeover.

Be selfish. It may take a little practice, but you'll soon learn that all those people who seem to have their days under control, do so by realizing, and establishing, their limits.

Start off by giving yourself some breathing room: take a walk at lunch, or make time to cook a healthy meal. Taking care of yourself will help you feel more in control. In fact, the more time you dedicate to you, the better.

Had a nice celebratory dinner with sooneh, the warwickbound psc-genius. (: And excellent shopping buddy who stops me from buying pea-green dotted totes and saffronyellow shoes, much thanks.

So when I go topshop-shopping with chinghee I really hope she helps me exercise my self-restraint. I throw all caution to the wind when I see SALE, which explains why I wear something once and give it away after. Wrong shape, wrong size, or just plain wrong style.

Which is also why I took 2 days to decide on the Coach products I wanted when cheryl goes to san diego next month.

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Dinner with my girls. (:

Chay is rich now, going to thailand (I really want to come too) and taiwan next month. Dee is filming a channel8 ballet drama with jeanette aw.

I'm so glad aditi's back from india (with such pretty bangles thanks!), and chinghee's back from london, and smoot's coming back from japan!

Equilibrium has returned.

Lastly, thank you ivy. It was really yummy, and had all my fav ingredients!

Last saturday was martin's surprise birthday party.

A few class girls, and soccer boys overload. But we had some fun nonetheless (:



Happy belated birthday martin!

(I think there are way to many soccerboy-kissing-other-soccerboy pictures. :x )






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Also, I saw cheryl / muddy's blogpost a while back.

"On the way back from macRitchie, met chermaine on the bus. In her words, she's going to follow her heart, pursue a literature degree and return to teach. haha, that's signing off 10 years of her life! but i'm glad i met her today, cos it's nice, well, to hear something real.

The last few months have been about hearing of people suddenly deciding to study law/med/biz though it's never on their radar, and also being egged on to enter these professions.
Practicality, a necessary evil. Then again, at age 18, can't expect
everyone to know his/her calling."

Muddy's going to take a gap year to pump up stamina, and gear up for the course of her dreams. I think it's amazing, it never crossed my mind to take a year off to really find out what I want to do with the next 10 years of my life, but then again, I've really had it easy.


Doing something I want to do, something I'm proud to do, is perhaps more than enough justification for 10 years. And even though it introduced a whole onslaught of self-doubt, many of the "oh but you are so much like a lawyer" from relatives in that profession. I guess that's something everyone else grapples with.

And the thing is, youth is where we've got everything to lose. I won't want to dedicate 4 years of young-ness to something I'll probably regret for a long while, something I may eventually "grow to enjoy", but not now.

Sometimes I really admire those who are ready to throw themselves head-on into a subject they know less about. That will probably encapsulate half of the JC people I know, and I really mean that.
It takes guts, it takes tenacity.

But anyway, I also told muddy about my knees and everything, and she decided the best course of action was to utilise the placebo effect.

Wonderful, so I shall eat more kiwis, apples, soy milk and dark chocolate. Thank goodness I don't have to take glucosamine like x-countryers. I may eventually regret that, but I'm not at the moment.

And living life for the future is just a little overkill. Because happiness is so slight a thing, that its pursuit can seem only futile.
Chess against Fisher, anti-whaling in Japan, Gaza strip peace.


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In other news, the acceptance by the organisation was really an affirmation. When I was told, I was just incredibly stunned.
And it felt great. It felt like I was doing something right in this job for once. It justified the nights I was called at 2am to clarify quotes, or the long days I had to chase contacts. It justified the waiting-by-the-phone for VIP calls. It was way up there with the occasional page 1s, with the (one) marginally-successful commentary piece.

For weeks I have had the niggering suspicion that I had pigeon-holed myself too soon. My mum was upset about how I didn't even think about applying for any other scholarship but the one that I really wanted. To "widen my net" (although I don't know where people get the fisherman analogy from), journalism was the next best thing.

I went on this ride with reminders that it was going to be tough for me - caveats like "steep learning curve", "proving myself in too short a time" were thrown in to throw me off. Adding that to the fact that they were only going to offer it to 5 out of about 30 interns.

So I went in with the mentality that I didn't need to get it. It made me unperturbed, almost-zen.

Last week, they released the scholarship results. It came while I was half-drowning in the doldrums of my assignments, while I was seriously contemplating quitting the next day.
And yet, it seemed terrible, almost criminal, to reject something so many really really wanted.


I have increasingly recognised that there are things in life you just cannot do. Those are probably the things you aren't meant to do. But there are also those you won't mind doing.

Journalism falls into that hole.

So this is where I reach my crossroads, where I see my history in the making. And I am grateful I get to make a choice, albeit one I already made way, way back in primary school.
Like sooneh said, "its what you were born to do".




I thank God. Always.