Last saturday was martin's surprise birthday party.

A few class girls, and soccer boys overload. But we had some fun nonetheless (:



Happy belated birthday martin!

(I think there are way to many soccerboy-kissing-other-soccerboy pictures. :x )






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Also, I saw cheryl / muddy's blogpost a while back.

"On the way back from macRitchie, met chermaine on the bus. In her words, she's going to follow her heart, pursue a literature degree and return to teach. haha, that's signing off 10 years of her life! but i'm glad i met her today, cos it's nice, well, to hear something real.

The last few months have been about hearing of people suddenly deciding to study law/med/biz though it's never on their radar, and also being egged on to enter these professions.
Practicality, a necessary evil. Then again, at age 18, can't expect
everyone to know his/her calling."

Muddy's going to take a gap year to pump up stamina, and gear up for the course of her dreams. I think it's amazing, it never crossed my mind to take a year off to really find out what I want to do with the next 10 years of my life, but then again, I've really had it easy.


Doing something I want to do, something I'm proud to do, is perhaps more than enough justification for 10 years. And even though it introduced a whole onslaught of self-doubt, many of the "oh but you are so much like a lawyer" from relatives in that profession. I guess that's something everyone else grapples with.

And the thing is, youth is where we've got everything to lose. I won't want to dedicate 4 years of young-ness to something I'll probably regret for a long while, something I may eventually "grow to enjoy", but not now.

Sometimes I really admire those who are ready to throw themselves head-on into a subject they know less about. That will probably encapsulate half of the JC people I know, and I really mean that.
It takes guts, it takes tenacity.

But anyway, I also told muddy about my knees and everything, and she decided the best course of action was to utilise the placebo effect.

Wonderful, so I shall eat more kiwis, apples, soy milk and dark chocolate. Thank goodness I don't have to take glucosamine like x-countryers. I may eventually regret that, but I'm not at the moment.

And living life for the future is just a little overkill. Because happiness is so slight a thing, that its pursuit can seem only futile.
Chess against Fisher, anti-whaling in Japan, Gaza strip peace.


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In other news, the acceptance by the organisation was really an affirmation. When I was told, I was just incredibly stunned.
And it felt great. It felt like I was doing something right in this job for once. It justified the nights I was called at 2am to clarify quotes, or the long days I had to chase contacts. It justified the waiting-by-the-phone for VIP calls. It was way up there with the occasional page 1s, with the (one) marginally-successful commentary piece.

For weeks I have had the niggering suspicion that I had pigeon-holed myself too soon. My mum was upset about how I didn't even think about applying for any other scholarship but the one that I really wanted. To "widen my net" (although I don't know where people get the fisherman analogy from), journalism was the next best thing.

I went on this ride with reminders that it was going to be tough for me - caveats like "steep learning curve", "proving myself in too short a time" were thrown in to throw me off. Adding that to the fact that they were only going to offer it to 5 out of about 30 interns.

So I went in with the mentality that I didn't need to get it. It made me unperturbed, almost-zen.

Last week, they released the scholarship results. It came while I was half-drowning in the doldrums of my assignments, while I was seriously contemplating quitting the next day.
And yet, it seemed terrible, almost criminal, to reject something so many really really wanted.


I have increasingly recognised that there are things in life you just cannot do. Those are probably the things you aren't meant to do. But there are also those you won't mind doing.

Journalism falls into that hole.

So this is where I reach my crossroads, where I see my history in the making. And I am grateful I get to make a choice, albeit one I already made way, way back in primary school.
Like sooneh said, "its what you were born to do".




I thank God. Always.